The Art of Listening to Your Partner

By Randall | Improv in Life
3 Jul 2012

I came across this article today, and thought it sounded a lot like what I’ve been working on in my improv scenes lately. Sounds like maybe improv can help you be a better lover too!

Here’s an excerpt from “The Art of Listening to Your Lover,” published by Psychology Today:

In our fast paced society, with both partners working, we barely have time to talk, let alone listen to each other’s stories. I see couples in such a hurry to respond, they don’t listen to everything their partners have to say. Instead they are in their heads planning their response. As a result, they have information but no knowledge of their partners. Mankell writes that people confuse information with knowledge. Knowledge means that you listen and interpret the information your partner conveys.

Get out of your head. Don’t plan your response when your scene partner is talking. Listen, watch, and interpret. Surprise them, yourself, and your audience with the knowledge you gain. Then do the same thing when you are with your significant other.

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One Comment

  1. Gillian Goodman says:

    This reminds me of what I was just reading about: The Imago Dialogue. The three steps to the Imago Dialogue are mirroring, validation, and empathy. It’s awesome stuff! It totally reminded me of improv, too, but it’s actually from that book I’m reading about relationships.

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